by Claytonian
I'm only human, and a man, so I can't help but glancing if a pretty young girl walks by. Of course, there is proper etiquette to ogling correctly in public: be discrete, look no longer than a few seconds, keep your mouth closed, never do it around your girlfriend, and never look at a mom. That last one in particular should go without saying, but sometimes it's pretty hard to tell if someone is a mom in Japan, as the ladies wear fashions of the wrong style to be properly identified as mothers.
I come from a country where parents dress properly. That is to say, like old people. If you get married and/or pop out a miracle of creation, you have a duty to your fellow citizens to gain weight as a sign that you are off the market. It's just polite. Then you should take pains to switch to bad clothes. Anything that's out, in fashion terms, is in for you. So that means no miniskirts, no highlights, no keffiyehs, no sharp suits. Society will accept you only if you wear flannel, sweats, or your acid-washed jeans from the 90s. And anything that lets your ponderous belly peek out a little is recommended. It's just common sense for American parents.
But the Japanese. Oh, where did we go wrong with them? The mothers care about how they look. Can you imagine the confusion? "Oh, hey what's up, hot mama-- whoah! You really are a momma!" That ain't right. It disturbs the natural order! The fathers get in on the act too, with goatees, fauhawks, decori shirts, and holey jeans. How old are you, young man? Because that's what sixteen year olds in Japan wear too! A line must be drawn!
It wasn't always this way. Maybe before about 2002, the older generation of parents wore their parental uniforms with civic pride. The mothers knew that as soon as they got married they had to wear kappougi
Nowadays, this system of uncoolness as parental status marker is being abandoned. So the next time you see a pretty Japanese girl, look for her hands. Because chances are, there will be a kid holding one of them.
Cool Parents
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