By Claytonian
Next month, it will finally be the point at which I have spent 5 years in Japan. Which is interesting, because it I have been telling foreigners who inquire about it that I have lived here that long for the last six months. Further amusing is the odd fact that when Japanese people ask about the same thing, I claim I have only lived here about a year.
The reason why I lie to foreigners is that it's bothersome to say 4 and 1/2 years. That's, like, a whole extra syllable that I would have to utter. Plus, 5 sounds like an impressive, a veteran Japaneer's number. Why when I was first here, young whippersnapper, lemme tell ya, we didn't have no fancy smart phones! It was all rotary back then!
The reason why I lie to Japanese people is centered around trying to impress them. If I claim that my time in Japan has been only a year, they're like, Whoah, this dude must be a genius to speak my language--Japanese is officially the hardest language ever according to most any Japanese person you ask--to such a degree and I totally must rain adulation upon him!
But I am also scared of what will happen if they know the truth. Because if they do, they will surely think to themselves, This losers been here five years and he still makes all those grammatical and accent-related mistakes? I knew Japanese was the hardest language ever and foreigners can't learn it.
But you know, I really do it for the children. Those poor foreign children--or, even unluckier yet, children of partial Japanese heritage--who have to go through life in Japan not having their perfect Japanese believed. If I can pass myself off as being better at my Japanese than it should be after just one year, I can improve the image for every non-native speaker here.
What, you think I'm making that last motive up? I've never told a single lie during my whole year in Japan.
Next month, it will finally be the point at which I have spent 5 years in Japan. Which is interesting, because it I have been telling foreigners who inquire about it that I have lived here that long for the last six months. Further amusing is the odd fact that when Japanese people ask about the same thing, I claim I have only lived here about a year.
The reason why I lie to foreigners is that it's bothersome to say 4 and 1/2 years. That's, like, a whole extra syllable that I would have to utter. Plus, 5 sounds like an impressive, a veteran Japaneer's number. Why when I was first here, young whippersnapper, lemme tell ya, we didn't have no fancy smart phones! It was all rotary back then!
The reason why I lie to Japanese people is centered around trying to impress them. If I claim that my time in Japan has been only a year, they're like, Whoah, this dude must be a genius to speak my language--Japanese is officially the hardest language ever according to most any Japanese person you ask--to such a degree and I totally must rain adulation upon him!
But I am also scared of what will happen if they know the truth. Because if they do, they will surely think to themselves, This losers been here five years and he still makes all those grammatical and accent-related mistakes? I knew Japanese was the hardest language ever and foreigners can't learn it.
But you know, I really do it for the children. Those poor foreign children--or, even unluckier yet, children of partial Japanese heritage--who have to go through life in Japan not having their perfect Japanese believed. If I can pass myself off as being better at my Japanese than it should be after just one year, I can improve the image for every non-native speaker here.
What, you think I'm making that last motive up? I've never told a single lie during my whole year in Japan.
I'm currently rounding my years in Japan to two decades.
I started doing this after a cab driver, after speaking with me for five minutes, ask me how many DECADES I have been in Japan.
I like to think he used the unit "decades" because of my awesome Japanese ability, but I'm pretty sure he said decades because he noticed the gray hair in my sideburns.