By Claytonian
I am not an English teacher. When I first came to Japan, it was indeed through the JET Programme, but that stands for The Japan Exchange and Teaching Programme, not Japan English Teaching Programme. And yes, the British spelling of "Programme" is a mystery that eludes me even today. I was not a mere English teacher. I was a cultural ambassador... that used the medium of supportive English instruction at junior highs and elementary to spread my message of internationalism and peace.
Through my experiences as a JET I learned what a past participle was, but never caught on as to how they can dangle. I also learned what 関係代名詞 were and how we use them, but I can't recall what we call them in English. Connective representative nouns? No, that's not it...
I started to develop peculiar ways of describing English, as much for myself to work out it's complexities as for the students' edification. "Kids, can I tell you about Mister A? He likes Mister Noun, but they have an open relationship, so Miz Adjective can come between them. Mister The doesn't like Mister A and kicks him out to keep the precious Mister Noun all to himself. Unless Mister Noun has a name. Kids, is this all clear? This... is... English! Where are you going?"
I also started to experience pidgin rot. Pidgin rot is when you start losing your native language because nobody you know can speak it properly. Suddenly I was losing articles left and right. "Can you pass the salt?" became, "Salt... pass me?" Japan was turning me back, linguistically, into a caveman (emotionally I've been there for years though). Another problem was that I had to intentionally dumb down and slow down my language. Upon meeting other native English speakers, I would have to go through an adjustment period of a few minutes to get my tongue back up to snuff.
Finally, my time at JET ended and I became a student at a Japanese language school. To make ends meet, I found myself leading a few groups of adults that wanted to learn English. Still, I was not a proper English teacher, but more of a facilitator, trying to lift the conversation to a higher level, while often succumbing to pidgin rot during my instruction. I started to take to reading The Oxford Guide to English Grammar. I have a copy in Japanese (which makes it doubly effective as a sleeping aid by the way). It helped me at times through some of the trickier questions, but the more I studied English the more I learned that: a) English is an insane language, b) Not even a native speaker can understand said insanity, and c) One will sound quite inane when trying to explain it in their broken and purposefully simplified English. So why must I correct your speech sir? I don't know, that's just not the way we say things in English.
Recently the biggest problem for me though is the way all this listen-and-try-to-correct stuff has affected my personal interactions. Sometimes a person will be talking to me, and I will just blurt out a correction at them. "Oh, I'm sorry! Um, I didn't mean to to do that. It's just that I correct people for my job. At they speak. Speak the do I teach good way. Good speaker, I. Uh... Me... me go now."
I am not an English teacher. When I first came to Japan, it was indeed through the JET Programme, but that stands for The Japan Exchange and Teaching Programme, not Japan English Teaching Programme. And yes, the British spelling of "Programme" is a mystery that eludes me even today. I was not a mere English teacher. I was a cultural ambassador... that used the medium of supportive English instruction at junior highs and elementary to spread my message of internationalism and peace.
Through my experiences as a JET I learned what a past participle was, but never caught on as to how they can dangle. I also learned what 関係代名詞 were and how we use them, but I can't recall what we call them in English. Connective representative nouns? No, that's not it...
I started to develop peculiar ways of describing English, as much for myself to work out it's complexities as for the students' edification. "Kids, can I tell you about Mister A? He likes Mister Noun, but they have an open relationship, so Miz Adjective can come between them. Mister The doesn't like Mister A and kicks him out to keep the precious Mister Noun all to himself. Unless Mister Noun has a name. Kids, is this all clear? This... is... English! Where are you going?"
I also started to experience pidgin rot. Pidgin rot is when you start losing your native language because nobody you know can speak it properly. Suddenly I was losing articles left and right. "Can you pass the salt?" became, "Salt... pass me?" Japan was turning me back, linguistically, into a caveman (emotionally I've been there for years though). Another problem was that I had to intentionally dumb down and slow down my language. Upon meeting other native English speakers, I would have to go through an adjustment period of a few minutes to get my tongue back up to snuff.
Finally, my time at JET ended and I became a student at a Japanese language school. To make ends meet, I found myself leading a few groups of adults that wanted to learn English. Still, I was not a proper English teacher, but more of a facilitator, trying to lift the conversation to a higher level, while often succumbing to pidgin rot during my instruction. I started to take to reading The Oxford Guide to English Grammar. I have a copy in Japanese (which makes it doubly effective as a sleeping aid by the way). It helped me at times through some of the trickier questions, but the more I studied English the more I learned that: a) English is an insane language, b) Not even a native speaker can understand said insanity, and c) One will sound quite inane when trying to explain it in their broken and purposefully simplified English. So why must I correct your speech sir? I don't know, that's just not the way we say things in English.
Recently the biggest problem for me though is the way all this listen-and-try-to-correct stuff has affected my personal interactions. Sometimes a person will be talking to me, and I will just blurt out a correction at them. "Oh, I'm sorry! Um, I didn't mean to to do that. It's just that I correct people for my job. At they speak. Speak the do I teach good way. Good speaker, I. Uh... Me... me go now."
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