August 6, 2010 3:11 PM

The Language Phone-tic!

by Emily Connor

     After two years of using my washed up CASIO cellphone, last month I was finally able to get my hands on a new top of the line cellphone, only to realize one thing:

     Japanese cellphones nowadays are much too complex.

     They can literally do anything. And by being able to do anything, they're a bit overwhelming at times. I really don't need so many features in my phone. The 13 megapixel camera is great. The display is beautiful. But in a lot of ways my phone is so high-tech that it just becomes annoying to use. For example, the touch screen. I completely understand the touchscreen option for phones that are touchscreen based, but since my cellphone is based around the keypad it's just a nuisance to have the touchscreen option. The other day when I was trying to answer a call I accidentally activated the touchscreen which made it so I couldn't answer the call. How does that even make any sense?

     My phone also comes with a built-in English/Japanese dictionary, a pedometer which calculates how many calories you burn in a day, a television and GPS, an MP3 player, and a bunch of other things that I haven't figured out yet. Most of these features drain the battery at a pretty rapid speed, so unless I've got a charger in hand I'd be nearly a fool to use them. I don't know, I feel like it's overkill for a phone to even have all of these options in it. If it were an iPhone, sure.... But it's not, so it shouldn't pretend to be!

     Because Japanese cellphones are so complex in general, every cellphone carrier always offers a few ''Senior-friendly'' phones available in the shop. These cellphones are pretty much exactly like normal American cellphones that everyone uses, except for the keypad is almost laughably large. Other than that, though, they just offer easy to understand menus and usually a pretty terrible cellphone. Apparently people who aren't clever enough to use normal phones over here don't deserve to have a kick-ass camera. Simplicity is (at times!) best, my friends.

     I can't blame the Japanese for having these insanely cram-packed cellphones, though. The cellphone market over here is insane, and if a phone offers the newest and greatest feature (I think the one at the moment is a HD 3D video camera) then people will flock to it and buy it up. People here don't just have one phone, many business people carry two and often upgrade. So don't fix what's not broken, I suppose--- maybe Japanese people are just born with the knowledge on how to use their complicated cellphones which is why I can't wrap my mind around them. Anyway, I've got to go-- my phone's ringing. If only I could figure out how to answer the thing...  

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